No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize