I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
