1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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