apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize