Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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