Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
