i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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