I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
