When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
