watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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