i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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