so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
