Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
