on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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