never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
