I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
