I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
