Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
