Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
