I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
