Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
