we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
