when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
