moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
