Too much gin, very little bucket
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
