I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
