This girl is more easily done than said...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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