I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
