So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
