bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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