Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize