i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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