i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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