If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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