I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
