i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
