please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
pray to the hookup gods
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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