In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i don't like sucking hair
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
