gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
