I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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