I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
