Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
