I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
