my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize