why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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