piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize