If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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