I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize