Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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