i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
