you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
