CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Did I show you my penis last night?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
