thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
