Grow some girl-balls and come out already
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
