Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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