Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize