What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
