you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
