if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
