What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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