Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
