as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
