Sry I called you an 8
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
