would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
