Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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